Okay, what is going on in Christiandom? I save a news story recently about a Pastor in the U.S. named Ed Young, who recently launched a challenge to his congregation: To have sex every day for seven days straight. Or was it to have straight sex for seven days? Sex seven times a day? I assume he’s talking to the married couples in his church, the heterosexual married couples. It’s very confusing these days, isn’t it?
Now the point of his challenge was apparently to strengthen the bond between married couples. I’m sure the men were, on the whole, thrilled. I’m not married and never have been, but my understanding is that men tend to think about and want sex much more frequently than women do. I’ve heard statistics that suggest heterosexual couples have sex on average three times a week. I may be setting myself up for ridicule, but that sounds like quite a bit to me!
Sex is a wonderful thing (so I’ve heard ;)), but I think Pastor Ed has it backwards, at least from a woman’s standpoint. If men want to strengthen the bond in their marriages, having sex every day won’t do it. Women need to feel loved, treasured, valued and listened to by their husbands. If they feel this way, they might just want to have sex every day. I can’t think of a bigger turn-on than a man who actually cares about my feelings, thoughts and needs.
I saw Ed and his wife being interviewed on some news program and the whole thing really turned me off. To me, they came across as sensationalistic, like the sort of thing you’d read about in a tabloid magazine – even though they were probably attempting to make Christianity culturally ‘relevant’. The trouble is, that’s not what the gospel’s about. It’s not about our pleasure, meeting our needs or feeling good – at least not the gospel of Jesus Christ that’s in my Bible. The gospel is about taking up our cross and following Jesus, dying to self, giving our lives away for others – orphans, widows, the poor.
Maybe I’m being a bit harsh, but I honestly wonder if we’ve gotten off track when I hear this kind of stuff. Are we so comfortable and complacent in the western world that we’ve forgotten Jesus’ call to us – to be His hands and feet, to pursue justice on behalf of the oppressed, to care for the fatherless, to look after widows and orphans in their distress? There are people dying of starvation on the other side of the world, and Ed Young is encouraging his followers to focus on their own pleasure.
I can’t help but think of these words from the prophet Isaiah, chapter 58:
6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness [a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.”