Posts Tagged ‘gay Christians’

My post today is part of a larger initiative of more than 70 bloggers all sharing their thoughts on how to ‘bridge the gap’ between Christians and gay people. You can check out the other links at www.btgproject.blogspot.com

tay_rail_bridge_470x353A good friend of mine visited me yesterday. She was in town for a few days, and it was great to have the chance to just hang out together. She’s one of those seriously fun people who loves to laugh. We share the same dry, off-the-wall sense of humour. Needless to say, we did quite a bit of laughing! I’m still smiling at the thought of it.

My friend committed her life to Christ as an adult, much like I did. Though our backgrounds are different in many ways, we do have one important thing in common: We both came to know Jesus through our desperation, tired of hungering for love and being hurt and disappointed again and again. I suppose you could say we were looking for love in all the wrong places. She looked for love in the arms of men. I looked for it in the arms of women. We both found it in the arms of Jesus.

There’s no denying that bridging the gap between Christians and gay people is challenging. On the one hand, there are Christians who are so threatened by the idea of reaching out to gays that they won’t even consider it. On the other, some gay people make it their mission in life to be as “in your face” as possible about their sexuality, particularly around people who consider homosexuality sinful. I think both of these postures are born out of fear, hurt and misunderstanding. It’s heartening to know that there are people in between the two extremes.

One of the songs my friend and I sang together yesterday was “Love can build a bridge”. It was recorded back in the 1980’s by the Judds, a mother/daughter country duo. Some of you may get to this point in my post and think, “is this the best response you can come up with to the question at hand?” Well, yes and no. Here are the words to the chorus of “Love can build a bridge”, in case you’re not a country music fan:

Love can build a bridge,
between your heart and mine.
Love can build a bridge,
don’t you think it’s time,
don’t you think it’s time.

It is the best answer I can come up with, in the sense that it’s the only answer to our lost condition, whether we identify ourselves as gay, straight, or somewhere in between. It’s the same answer given in the beautiful simplicity of John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” If you’re a Christian and you don’t include gay people in the “whosoever” category, then I would gently suggest that you are underestimating God’s grace. If you’re gay and you’ve written off Christianity because you’ve been hurt by people in the church, I hope you won’t write Jesus off. God doesn’t affirm any of us on the basis of our behaviour, because we’re all sinners. He affirms us based on the “whosoever will believe in Him” part of John 3:16. In the same way, none of us can measure up to God’s standard of holiness. We all fall short in many ways. The grace that saves us is the same grace that enables us to grow in purity and obedience once we have accepted His gift of salvation.

You’ll notice that I haven’t addressed the issue of whether or not homosexual behaviour is sinful, and that’s deliberate. It’s not because I don’t have an opinion. I haven’t addressed it because I think if we truly want to bridge the gap between Christians and gay people, or indeed with anyone who doesn’t share our beliefs, we need to keep the horse before the cart.

If you’re a Christian trying to reach out to a gay person, and the first thing you say after “God loves you”, is “homosexuality is an abomination in His eyes”, then your cart has already toppled into the ditch. I believe when we take this approach, making sure our theological position is stated at the outset, we aren’t really motivated by love – we’re motivated by fear. The reality is, most gay people already know what the Bible says about homosexuality. If you feel compelled to tell them, consider how lovingly Jesus dealt with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. And remember that it’s His kindness that leads us to repentance – all of us.

When I left my gay identity behind, it wasn’t because well-meaning Christians persuaded me to. It happened because the Holy Spirit wooed me, gently changing how I saw myself and others. I found the love I had been longing for in Jesus. In the process, I discovered (and am discovering) my true self. I’m very glad to say that His love has been expressed to me over the years through Christians. They offered the same grace and patience we all need, and trusted God to change me. Their love bridged the gap in my life.

So, when you think about it, God has already built a bridge. Don’t you think it’s time for us to walk across it by loving all people the way Jesus does?


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One of the first Christian music CDs I got after being born again in 1995 was the “WOW” 1996 double-CD set. One of the songs on that CD, if I remember correctly, was “The Anchor Holds”, by Ray Boltz. Since then I’ve realized that he has written a number of “classic” songs, including “Thank You”. I’ve heard this song sung at my church a number of times. I hope that Ray’s songs will continue to be regarded as the worship anthems that they are.

Have you heard? Who hasn’t in Christiandom? Ray Boltz, Christian music icon, recently “came out”, acknowledging that he is gay, and has been basically for his whole life. He was born again during the 1970’s “Jesus Movement”, and was married, had children, etc. Recently he announced that after 30 years of struggling, he has decided that he can’t keep pretending – he is gay. Nothing has really changed in terms of his sexual attractions.

I read the story at Christianity Today, along with a slew of reader comments. It seemed like the page would never end! Some of the comments were sympathetic, if not actually supportive of Ray’s decision. Many were quite hateful, bigoted and grace-less. It stabbed me right in the heart to read some of the vitriolic words coming from Christians in response to Ray’s story. The sense I get is that many folks are so focused on defending scripture that they forget about the human heart behind the story. God doesn’t need to be defended. We need to constantly ask ourselves where Jesus would be in the situation. In the Gospels, Jesus consistently condemned the religious hypocrites, bigots – the religious “inner circle” who somehow felt justified in condemning the sinful behaviour of others. Jesus came to save sinners. It’s not the healthy who need a doctor. 

I’m not suggesting that God has changed His mind regarding His original will for us. He never intended us to lie, cheat, lust, envy, create idols…but we all are broken and susceptible to various weaknesses. I will not pass judgment on Ray Boltz – not because I think he has come to the “right” conclusion, but because I think God is way more merciful that any of us could ever be. Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. I won’t presume to stand in God’s stead. Who am I to judge another man’s servant? 

I know the scriptures tell us not to have fellowship with anyone who calls himself a Christian and yet lives in sin. I just wonder, is Jesus still loving Ray? I know He is. There’s a certain “smugness” in some of the comments on the CT blog that really disturbs me. What it indicates to me is that many Christians are out of touch with their own frailty, their own humanity, their own sinfulness. Mercy triumphs over judgement every time.

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